I just read the characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholic parents listed in the ACOP forums of Daily Strength. It wasn't the first time I had read these since I have read a couple of books on ACOP.Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
I was in Borders years ago when I picked up a book in the self help section and found this statement in an ACOP book. GUILTY! It was as if lightening had struck me. WOW! My home growing up (a subject to be talked about at length later) had so many unfinished projects both inside and out. Many were still unfinished after my father passed.
Reading that statement years ago was when I first realized that I was affected by my father's drinking more than I had ever imagined! It wasn't over after he died! Heck, that was practically the beginning! This characteristic is by far the main one that haunts me. I am so GUILTY of this, I do it practically daily. I am constantly aware of this flaw and struggle to fight through it. From cleaning a room in the house to college, I very seldom get things done completely! I look at a project and I just think of the journey to get it finished, not the end result. I didn't even complete my counseling! You would think that thinking of the end result would motivate me to complete the project. Nope, doesn't work that way for me. I am defeated before I begin. What is most frustrating is that I know the weakness.
Oh boy, I do indeed need help!
C'est finis.
2 comments:
Ron,
I, too, am a ACOA. Didn't evenknow the term until Is tumbled upon a support group. Yeah, I know. But it actually helped. More than that, it gave me a family that knew how sick my real family was/is.
The weekly sessions and reading from "The 12 Steps: A Way Out, A spiritual Process for Healing" (ISBN# 0-941405-11-7) literally changed my life in many ways: I could pinpoint where these presumptions and feelings came from, which helped to control them better; it helped my communication with my kids and husband and ultimately my father - and myself.
I hope I'm not preaching, just reaching. Maybe a similar group would work for you. Not like Alanon where you're dealing with spouses, but Adult Children where you're dealing with "children."
Best,
Mary Jo
Thanks for "reaching" Mary Jo, I appreciate it.
Ron
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